Get all 9 Mackenzie Shivers releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Funeral Singer, rejection memos, Rejection Letter, Forever, Midwinter, The Unkindness, Ravens EP, Living in My Head EP, and 1 more.
1. |
Afraid
03:53
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It’s hard to picture a world
Where you’re not there
I call your name
It hangs in the humid air
Three cheers for the guardians
The ones that got us here
Their days are numbered
Fuck it feels so unfair
Life’s a morbid affair
Get used to it
Put your hands on my body
Remind me I’m still here
It’s no one’s fault
It’s everyone’s crime
There’s no use in hindering
The hands of time
Can I be afraid
And still be free?
I am afraid
What will become of me?
We all want heat
But we don’t like fire
What if these offenses
Are secret desires?
A bloody fool
Is all I see
Staring straight back at me
Can I be afraid
And still be free?
I am afraid
What will become of me?
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2. |
The Roses
03:27
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White coat of paint over row houses
Covers confirmation of recent poverty
Thick coat of armor
I never said I was a martyr
I’m running ‘round town trying to make a memory
And I see roses climbing up the porches
Of places that I yearn to belong
You’ve got your crooked laws
I’ve got mine
But I’ll break them anytime
To stop and smell the roses
Queen of the ages
Flipping through the pages
Of heretics and rages
Of bleeding red
Castles turn to shambles
Conquests to rambles
Make your own money, man
It won’t be enough to save
But I see roses climbing up the porches
Of places that I yearn to belong
You’ve got your crooked laws
I’ve got mine
But I’ll break them anytime
To stop and smell the roses
And if I told you in a funny accent
That I’m no good
Would you believe a word?
And if I promised it was not a contest
Of who I loved better
Would you feel assured?
And I see roses climbing up the porches
Of places that I yearn to belong
You’ve got your crooked laws and I’ve got mine
But I’ll break them anytime
To stop and smell the roses
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3. |
Martha's Vineyard
04:14
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I’m trying to get mad
But I’m afraid of anger
Oh what will I do
If I stop feeling sorry and blue?
My thoughts are flaming red
This party’s now a rager
Cannot see ahead
Been by myself for months and months on end
Your face looks awfully nice from here
I’ve got it in my memory where I can see it clear
You tell me, “Martha’s Vineyard must be kinda nice around this time of year.”
Seasick in a storm
Yeah that would be my preference
To staying lame and warm
I live the same day over and over and over
But your face looks awfully nice from here
I’ve got in in my memory where I can see it clear
You tell me, “Martha’s Vineyard must be kinda nice around this time of year.”
I dream of when you sang to me about the Eastern Shore
I played along until my long white fingers became sore
And when we spoke of troubled times
I cried there on the floor
I think of when you told me that I should not get married
You told me I was naughty
Didn’t end it with a wink
And I shouted “you’re not worthy”
And you drank it like a poison
Didn’t speak to me for weeks
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4. |
Mess
03:13
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The drinks made me bold
I said “let’s do this before I get old”
You cocked a smile
Said “let’s talk about it when the light comes out”
This desire
It is deeper
Than all that I hold dear
You asked if I could slow down
That’s the one thing that I fear
I know that I can’t have it all
But I make a mess better than anyone I know
You put your hand on my heart
Said you could feel the ticking and the tock of indecision
It was dancing round and round the clock
This desire
It is deeper
Than all I’ve held onto
Can you see my sincerity in this light?
It’s basically see-through
I know that I can’t have it all
But I make a mess better than anyone I know
Freedom
What is freedom?
How is freedom gonna take hold of me?
Freedom
What is freedom to me now?
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5. |
Blistered Sun
01:40
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Don't touch
Just talk to me
Take a walk
Take stock of what lies
Underneath the dark night
What is time?
Feels different than it used to be
Laugh to laugh and cry to cry
You pierce me like a bullet train
That we no longer ride
I'll see you on the other side
Pale and hot
The day is shot
Blistered sun
Just carbon on the run
Frozen seas
Come for me
I'll be fine
Tangled in the moonshine
Laugh to laugh and tear to tear
Can we make it through the year?
No more honey in the hive
I'll see you on the other -
Fight to flight and fear to fear
Will never leave you for another
Baby, dead or alive
I'll see you where the ocean meets the sky
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6. |
100 Miles
04:07
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I see lightning strike they say it won’t come twice
I see tears roll down as they turn to cries
Hear you telling me not to feed my vices
I’m a hundred miles from where I should be
I see children they are locked up far from home
Dirty faces, nowhere left to roam
I see tired eyes that scream “what’s done is done”
We’re a hundred miles from where we should be
I see the writing on the wall
It’s a hundred miles tall
I see jezebels and pistol shells on Main Street
I see shaken dreams and flying machines there too
I see sinking sands and wasted lands all rotting
Just a hundred miles from where I am standing
I see the writing on the wall
It’s a hundred miles tall
What a mess we’ve made of it
What a mess we’ve made…
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7. |
Butterscotch
03:59
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I’m so goddamn lonely I visit the corners of my mind
It’s a fixer-upper; I’m a little scared of what I might find
A fight from November
You gave me grief for feeling guilty
The rain turned to snow
My urge for going growing heavy
Tell me that I’m like the rest
Then whisper that I’m something special
No-win situation keeps me consistently judgemental
Late in December a little voice of reason starts to beg
The snow turned to butterscotch and stuck to old wounds inside my head
Save me from myself
And baby, don’t be gentle
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8. |
Kids
04:01
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That night at the bar on the Upper West Side
We said we wanted kids
What a mess we’ve made
We say we don’t believe in heaven
We want more of each other, more of it
But what happens when we’re gone?
Questions to my answers are always playing coy, boy
Scratching at the back door a voice that whispered
Is starting to yell a little louder now
Starting to creep through my bones
All these pretty people dancing around us
But I want you and we want each other
Isn’t that enough?
Is this all that I want? Is it all of you?
Is this all that I need? Fill me up with you
Is this all that I want? Is it all of you?
What is true and what is not?
My love is real.
Standing on the rooftop of that hotel
You said we wouldn’t do this if there were three of us
But what do cocaine and convolutions have to do with life anyways?
Take my hand and I’ll help you stand
Is this all that I want? Is it all of you?
Is this all that I need? Fill me up with you
Is this all that I want? Is it all of you?
What is true and what is not?
My love is real.
And what do we know anyways?
We’re all just pretending to be found
And what do people have to say
When the world is burning to the ground?
Give me more of what I want. Give me all of you
Give me more of what I need. Fill me up with you
Give me more of what I want. I want all of you
What is true and what is not?
My love is real.
That night at the bar on the Upper West Side
We were only kids.
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9. |
Gold
03:20
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These days are wild and free
Strange people pass by me
And I’ve got nothing but time
Plant a garden at my feet
I will grow amongst the weeds
And I never need to cry
Unless you cross my mind
Fade away
And become somebody who needs nobody
As I turn gray
The color of the sky reminds me that
Nothing gold was meant to stay
Our city was rust and tar
Be still my dying heart
And you could see right through
My sunny ruse
Far away
I’ve become somebody who needs nobody
As I turn gray
The color of the sky reminds me that
Nothing gold was meant to stay
Those days were never ours
Strange nights, stranger scars
But I never said goodbye
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10. |
Rejection Letter
04:14
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I’ve been wandering round with my nose cut off
I think it was trying to spite me
And I wish I wrote you a love song, but I didn’t
The morning’s hazy
The headline read “The Whole World is Watching You Fail!”
You know I hung on every word
And I really meant to write this down, but I couldn’t
Call me crazy
If I break my lungs and turn them into mockingbirds
Would I ease up on myself?
If I break my promises and make them something better
Would you tell me I’ve done well?
I’m hearing voices and they say, “don’t forget her”
And I will do anything I’m told
Another day, another doleful endeavor
Got a reputation to uphold
The headline left out a few minor details…
If I break my lungs and turn them into fighting words
Is it something I could sell?
If I break my promises and make them something better
Would it be good for my health?
Twenty fractured ribs
Okay, I guess I deserve it
One more legion to dispel
Twenty questions, twenty silences
A rejection letter
Is this how the empire fell?
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Mackenzie Shivers New York, New York
Like her influences Joni Mitchell and Tori Amos, Shivers invites you into her world and empowers your soul. Listening to her work leaves you in no doubt that you’ve entered the vibrant and imaginative world of its creator.
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